Group chats can be incredibly useful for keeping in touch with loved ones, organising events and navigating the festive season. However, if you’re sick of WhatsApp groups, we might have an explanation.
The exhaustion of always being notified
Notifications are the bubbles, badges and buzzes that bring us back to our devices. Almost every app uses them to ensure that we’re accessing their services as frequently as possible, for as long as possible. Some platforms ‘create’ notifications, like finding new users for you to follow or telling you about new groups to join.
With active WhatsApp groups, notifications are likely continuous and constant, regularly bringing you back to the app throughout the day. From a mental health perspective, the ‘constant stream of notifications and updates can create a sense of urgency and a fear of missing out, leading to increased anxiety and stress.’
Saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do
In the early days of mobile phones, we would regularly say goodbye to each other. We would use shorthand versions of goodbye, like ‘gtg’, which stands for ‘got to go’, or ‘ttfn’ which stands for ‘ta ta for now’. Having a limited amount of texts per day, or paying by the character or word effectively discouraged us from communicating continually.
However, now the idea of saying goodbye over instant messenger feels a little strange. Everyone that we want to talk to is only ever a few seconds away, and conversations can spread across hours or days. Saying goodbye in a group chat is likely to be reserved for leaving the group. The impact of this is that everything is a continual conversation, with no start or end point. This can be a connecting experience - or it can feel like chats will never end.
Seen by: everyone
The etiquette of texting is very different to the etiquette of verbal conversations. In face to face chats, or even telephone calls, we often use a back and forth; each person takes turns to speak, listen and talk. When someone says something, we react, or we offer a response. Texting in group chats, by comparison, is very different. We can send a message, a question or a meme into the ether, and receive nothing back.
WhatsApp’s ‘read receipts’ can make this an even more socially painful experience. When we can see that a group of people have ‘seen’ our message, but not responded to it, it can leave us feeling like we have done something wrong; maybe the message wasn’t interesting enough, or the joke we sent has offended everyone. This can be activating, and it can also leave us feeling insecure.
What can you do about group chats?
It’s easy to say ‘leave the group chat’, but can be much harder in practice. The social dynamics of a group can be tricky to navigate, and this is also true for groups on WhatsApp. You can exit a group on WhatsApp and only the administrators of that group will be notified.
If leaving the group chat feels like too much, consider turning off notifications. Depending on your smartphone, you might need to do this within your phone’s general settings, as well as the settings for WhatsApp. By reducing the amount of notifications, you can reduce the motivation for checking the app.
Where possible, take the communication out of the group chat. Try a zoom call, a phone call or a face to face hangout, and see if that turns your chats from a chore into a pleasure.
