Are you looking for love this month? If so, you’re not alone; last year, 2 million UK adults visited an online dating service on Valentine’s Day. If you’re thinking about dipping your toe into dating apps, we’ve got everything you need to get started.
Why we love, and loathe, dating apps
Dating apps are an incredibly popular way to find partners; simply download an app and start swiping for matches to appear. Not only does it give us a dopamine hit, dating apps can also introduce us to people that we might never have encountered in the wild. Hundreds of thousands of us use dating apps every month, looking for our next connection.
According to Ofcom’’s Online Nation 2024 Report, Tinder is the most popular dating app with 1894k users in May 2024, with over half of visitors to Bumble and Hinge also visiting Tinder.
We also spend a fair amount of time on the app itself; Tinder users spent, on average, just over an hour on the app in May. Grindr users spent the longest amount of time on the app, swiping for an average of just over 7 hours. Crucially, men outnumber women on most online dating apps. Hinge is a notable example; in May, 53% of users were women.
For some of us, the perpetual swiping of dating apps, sending messages that aren’t responded to, and the lack of safety can result in feelings of boredom, exhaustion and anxiety. If you want to change the way you’re dating this month, check out our top tips.
- Burned Haystack Dating Method
The Burned Haystack Dating Method is a dating app approach developed by Dr. Jennie Young, which is intended to help women seeking men find better matches on dating apps, particularly those who are overwhelmed with the amount of matches they receive. It’s based on the principle that the best way of finding a needle in a haystack is to burn the haystack.
‘Burning the haystack’ means blocking people on apps that you’re not interested in (rather than simply swiping left), as well as creating a profile which accurately describes and captures you (rather than a profile which is designed to appeal to the masses). Dr. Young’s theory is that this forces the apps to send you preferable matches, and as you’ve blocked those you aren’t interested in, it's far easier to ‘find the needle’ (or a suitable match).
- Find some alternative apps
Apps like Tinder, Hinge and OkCupid have a huge amount of users, which some might prefer as it can mean that matches are more common. However, if you’re struggling on bigger apps like these, you might want to consider apps that are created with specific communities in mind.
HER is a dating app which is exclusively for female, lesbian, intersex, non-binary, transgender and agender people. You can request to add users as friends rather than match, and use their chat rooms to connect with people with the same interests or identities.
Mattr markets itself as the first neurodivergent-friendly dating app. You’re limited to four matches a day, and you are matched on your interests rather than other users actions. They also partner with other brands to get you discounts on date nights, and other products and services. -
Ditch the apps altogether
Getting off the apps and meeting people in the wild is a lot easier said than done. However, it can be an effective way of connecting with people. When you find something you enjoy doing, and you’re able to do that with the people you encounter, you might find yourself emotionally connecting with those that enjoy it too.
Starting the activity or group that makes you feel excited can be a challenge. It might look like finding a book club, joining a Parkrun, trying out a cookery class or learning how to do a handstand (Meetup is a great website to try). This doesn’t need to be done offline; there are plenty of online groups and clubs that you can become involved in if that feels more comfortable.
